Big Changes!

Notes from June No Responses »
Apr 232012

Hi Everbody,

So there are some big changes here.  I haven’t posted in a while and there are a few reasons.  One is that I’m in a country where it’s very hard to make food worthy of blogging about and two is that we just welcomed a daughter into our little family.  So now there’s Mr. Toddler and Madam Baby :-)

We are excited also that Mr. Cleaver got a position (a promotion actually.  Love you Ward) back in the States.  So, come three weeks from now, we’ll be back in Boston and I’ll be back in the kitchen!!!

I can’t wait to share new recipes with you.

Cheers,

Just Like June

Posted by admin at 11:40 am

You can have it all! (if you change your definition)

Back to Basics 1 Response »
Dec 272011

If you’re a woman (or haven’t been living under a rock), you’ve heard the catch phrase: You can have it all!  So, what does that look like?

There are regional and cultural differences of course.   What I’m talking about is mainstream Western definitions.  ”Having it all” for the modern woman looks something like this:

1.) Loving husband that shares housework equally (or a loving husband and a housekeeper)
2.) 2 kids, one of each gender
3.) A large, two story house with a lovely garden.  The inside is decorated impeccably, looking like it is straight from a catalog.  The kids have the latest toys, which aren’t strewn all over the place.  Their rooms are a direct expression of their personalities and tastes and are always clean.  There are black and white photos of your family laughing over the mantle in the living room.
4.) Two nice cars and enough money for a hobby that requires money, like a classic car, a boat, etc.
5.) An incredibly flexible, high profile job that pays incredibly well, has full benefits, and doesn’t mind when you take days off for sick kids.
6.) A nanny that loves your kids like their her own.
7.) A family vacation each year.
8.) The ability to truly balance work and family, accomplishing all of your duties at work while being able to complete crafts, have daily outdoor activities, learning opportunities, and quiet special time your children, all while cooking gourmet meals, donating to charity, knitting for your church’s charity knitting project and hosting Bible/Women’s Torah studies once a week.  At your impeccable house.
9.) You have a great sex life.  Your marriage is amazing.  Your kids are well-behaved.  You’re in great shape because, on top of everything, you also work out for at least an hour daily.
10.) You’re not a complete basketcase.

Well well now.  Feeling bad about yourself yet?  You and a million other women.  If we don’t meet up to these expectations, well then we’ve failed somehow.  Either we’re “just” stay at home Moms or we’re corporate bitches (excuse the French) ignoring our families for “our own sake.”

Well, the media is good for one thing.  Sensationalizing things and making us feel like we’re abnormal.

So, let’s face it ladies, this is a falsehood.  It’s a media-driven falsehood, set up to make you feel bad.  Bad enough that you’ll run yourself ragged buying things, joining things, and spending money on things that will make you look like you have it all.

But stop a minute and look at your life.  And really evaluate.  Think of those things that stress you out.  Why do they stress you out?  Is it because you’re trying to fit a square peg (you) into a round hole?  I know for me, trying to be a work at home Mom was that round hole.  I was so cranky and irritable trying to have a perfect house, a well behaved kid, and make money on the side.  It was the working that was stressing me.  But more than that, it was the fact that I was deliberately trying to fit someone else’s mold and it wasn’t even necessary (we’re blessed that, if I quit whining, we can live comfortably on my husband’s salary).

I thought of my husband, my son, my daughter that will be born in March.  I thought about our home, my friends, my abilities that I never knew I had.  And I realized something.  That kiss from my son in the morning, that thank you when I make dinner every single night from my husband, that email that says, “You’re an amazing Mom,” I do have it all.

What do I want?  Do I want my children to look back and say, “I love how Mom always let us bake challah on Fridays, even as toddlers and laughed about all the spilled flour” or “I never felt like a burden to my Mom.  She respected me as a person and never looked down on me because I was small.”  Or do I want them to say, “Man, my Mom was a great typist” or “My Mom put in so many hours after we went to bed.  Poor Mom.”

So change your definition of having it all.  My definition is having a low enough stress level to really appreciate my family, and myself, for who we are.  Having a roof over our head.  Being able to structure my day in my way without someone breathing down my neck.  Snuggling into my husband at night. Eating chocolate before breakfast.  Because I can.  Being myself.  Unshaven armpits, crazy curls, alabaster behind and all.

And loving every minute of it.

What’s your definition?

Cheers,

Just Like June

Posted by admin at 8:36 pm

Tips for Traveling with a Toddler

Children, Marriage and Family No Responses »
Nov 022011

Hello Everyone,

So, the holidays are up.  If you’re smart, you’ve already booked your tickets to Grandma’s house.  But if you haven’t and you’re trying to decide if you should go over the river and through the woods, fear not.  Traveling with a toddler doesn’t have to be the most stressful thing in the world if you plan accordingly.

I have a lot of experience traveling with a toddler, both alone and with my husband.  Little mister has been from L.A. to N.Y and back, L.A. to Boston and back.  L.A. to New Mexico and Back. L.A. to Hong Kong to Mainland China and back.  China to Seoul to L.A.  You get my drift.  And yes, some of those long hauls were just with me, my pregnant and nauseous self, and I.  *sigh*

Tip Number One:

Think about naps when booking your flight.  Little Johnny usually sleeps at noon.  Good.  Book an 11:30 flight, especially if it’s a long one.  Either he’ll sleep at his normal time, or he’ll eventually nod off. If you book it after nap time, you run the risk of him being up the whole entire time, far surpassing his bedtime and becoming overtired.  How do I know?  Oh, let’s just say I booked a 14 hour flight once at 1:30 p.m.  Good job Mom.

Tip Number Two: You can scream with your mouth full (usually)

Snacks are imperative for a long flight, or for any flight really.  Keep a variety in your carry on.  For our last trans Pacific flight, yogurt raisins, crackers and string cheese, granola bars, and goldfish crackers were a hit.  Don’t bring them all out at once.  You want to ride the wave of good cheer for as long as possible.  Also, keep a PB&J in a plastic bag.  Sometimes the airline food isn’t that great and if you don’t think it’s delightful, imagine what your sometimes, or all the times, toddler will think.  Not to mention, depending on where you’re going, the choices are just less than appetizing.  I was never happier to share a PB&J with my toddler than when I was presented with a choice of duck or pork when I forgot to request special vegetarian meals.  Not that this would have mattered.  On some airlines, asian ones in particular (except Asiana and most Korean airlines), the vegetarian option is white rice and steamed vegetables.  Goldfish crackers anyone?

Tip Number Three: Don’t forget the lovey

If your little one has a special friend, blanket, heck even a piece of string that he or she loves, bring it alone and, for heavens sake, don’t lose the thing.  This is especially helpful if he or she likes to sleep with it.  My son knows that when I break out the legless sheep, it’s night night time.

Tip Number Four: Book an aisle seat

If you’re traveling as a family, book the whole row if there are enough of you. That was Johnny or Molly can look out the window if they want to.  Aisle seats are best though when they have to peerightnow! or when they are dying to take a walk up and down the aisles.

Tip Number Five: Keep it interesting but don’t stress yourself out

One thing my husband has a hard time with, especially on flights, is overstimulating our son.  He means well but I had to say multiple times, “Leave him alone, he’s happy.”  If your little one is happy thumbing through a book upside down, sitting on the floor between you and playing with his car, or doing some other quiet and non-obnoxious activity, for crying out loud, let them be.  If they need a little help with their boredom, these things never fail: going for walks up and down the aisle (if they are young enough to walk and not run and scream like banshees), going to the bathroom to play with the tissues/water/make funny faces in the mirror (bring extra shirts for water play), and going to the back of the plane near the flight attendants to play because there is quite a bit of extra room and an unobstructed window on both sides.

Tip Number Six: Relax.  Really.  It’s ok.

He’s tired.  You know it.  But he just. won’t. sleep!  Here comes the meltdown.  If you have a toddler like I do, he’s happy as a clam 99% of the time.  But come that dreaded 1% and boy can he throw it down.  He’s been know to knock his head on the floor, flail like he’s having an emergency medical problem, scream, cry, you name it, he’s got it going on and all at once.  My best tip is to watch carefully.  If he starts getting cranky, try distraction (remember the snacks?  Smart mama).  If he’s not buying it and starts to cry, do your best to calm him but remain calm.  He’ll feed off of your stress.  If it really escalates, take him to the bathroom.  The change of scenery might help and if it doesn’t, the doors, the running water, and the white noise of the plane will hopefully drown him out.

So, there you have it.  Snacks, distraction, and a calm demeanor.  Oh, and don’t anticipate the worst out of your little one. I always do this and he ends up sleeping for 60% of the flight.  What a doll.

Cheers,

Just Like June

Posted by admin at 12:36 pm
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